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A prospectus on Medicine...

Been on bloghopping in these past few days. Trying to look and feel how doctors think personally about themselves and also their world. Surprisingly, much of their thoughts are on the same roof as mine, but also don't forget the few bad apples in the career that (sometimes) tarnished the healthcare (or healthfucked) service.

And here are some comments which I like to touch on personally....

"Malaysian generally has lost their creativity. When they study, the sole objective is to get As, the more the better. The top scorers always choose the medical profession as there are no other profession in this world,"

So true, it saddens me that most teachers teaches us good stuffs only for us to get A's in our National Exam, SAT kind like exam. (SPM) This also reflected on the mentality of the parents, who spends hundreds of Dolars just to send their kids to the best private tuition available in their place, without looking at their child's mental needs, ideas, thoughts about it. Good environment won't evoke a good worksmanship if the person itself is injured/rotten inside.

And another problem.....the obsession with medical careers....do the parents think it's a GREAT job for their children? Do they think doing RECTAL examination (Looking at patient craps for green stuffs), BLOOD TESTS (Also to check for spirally shaped pathogens and other errs) or worst, TIGHT work schedule for life is cool? Stop yapping about how noble it is, helping injured creeps back to their health, because healthcare is only for, as the name implies (healthCARE) people who are indeed, motivated, willingly from their heart to help those good for nothing creeps.

"Choose medicine as a career only if you have the passion, and the aptitude for it.
Only then can you suffer the touch times and the inevitable injustices (not just in our country, but anywhere else for that matter) and not feel self-pity, depression and burn-out,"

That's why, medicine is tough shit to crack. A kind heart and a goodwill to help others plus good understanding is what we need. In addition, you will learn continously, read updated journals, researches for the rest of your life. I bet those parents too will wet their feet if asked to commit their life into healthcare. Every suffering person is an injured soul, they didn't want shuns and ostracised from the community, they need help and support (Medically, mentally, physically, name it) from others instead AND this is what doctors are meant to be, cuz you know, doctors have the license to kill, legally.

And now, medicine is slowly consumed by the innocent (Yet EVIL, harharhar) consumerism who sucks money from people via some doctors who didn't care shit about their patients. Money, fame is what they seek, but medicine is not the way, there are many more careers to choose from. Lucrative business, famous musicians, enigmatic politicians, creative entrepeneurs, above all garnered more annually rather than that friendly mortician general practicioner in your local clinic.

"Only when you can keep your eyes steadily on the goal of service and alleviating human suffering can you take the hurdles that crop up as challenges to be met, and overcome, rather than obstacles that overwhelm you.

So true....to see those wrecked body, agonizing pain the soul endured.....it's incredible how these people didn't crack up or losing their personal touch after years of enduring these ennerving moments. Some people screwed themselves hard (Suicide) just because of academic failures, broken love, life's downs....but to see people forced to leave the realm of the living is a hard hit to be pondered, and sometimes, the face of those who prepared, accepted the notion of their "hourly death" can be a great example of how dynamic humans can be....

So to those who hopes to be a physician one day, think thoroughly with your mind and heart, whether the "will" comes from deep of your heart, or from the external "prodding" of your peers/parents. They might say that they make a great choice in setting their child's future, but...

"In business, even fools can give adivices, while sages err in their own judgments,"

Only you can make the difference. Don't forget mom and dad, but sometimes you need to steer the boat yourself for the fruitfulness of your own.

P/S: Make sure you didn't make a wrong judgment though, this is VERY subjective.


Pissed off to a friend today for losing my 16GB USB drive. Lost it in shithole, he said. Asking a couple of games from me, and I'm freely (Yes, I'm here to blame too) gave him what he want. And now, here I am, angry at my own self for being such a doormat. (Or doorass) He promised to buy back a new one for me, yes, I know, yes I understand, but a promise is just a promise......I'm just too shitfucked to believe what he said because well, I already lost my trust on him. Recomposing myself, I noticed that.....

"Am I too nice?" For being such an introvert I know that this means "You're officially a slave" for some. No, I'm not pleasing others, I'm not the pushover type of person, just...too...nice maybe, making me looks like an utter fool. Heck, my class is full with (Sorry to say this) ungrateful 'tards which likes to blame, stereotyping, marginalizing, individualistic assholes, thinking that they're right all along. Being a nice and also a fucking loner makes me an easy target for them.....

And yet still they always borrow stuffs from me. Glue, scissors, condoms, you say it.....I'm dry by it. It's not that I want to be thrifty to them, but I'm a laidback guy who dislikes conflict and shits. Harmony with the surrounding and myself is what I seek.

But not with these fellas, they're dick suckers (Maybe, too subjectified)

Pranking, bugging....it's all common for me. But one thing that ticks me off is when I want to ask a question to the teacher, well, guess it *sigh*...until the teacher mistakenly thought of me being the perpetrator.....Hah, more drama ensues. Asking questions? Hah, screw the plan. Talking to a close friend? Nope, no can do.

I hate the situation I'm at now. Sucking the whole saps out from my near exhausted body.

Now adopting Plan B, being an asshole myself. Pranking me? Expect a counterattack. Bugging? Bugged. And I noticed another behaviour come from them. Yep, didn't like being bugged. If they can harm's somebody elses peace, why their's can't? Ah, what a life, for these people will act on defensive mode (Until a point where fighting can occur, man, love those ol' days, kickin punchin) for a crime they started on first. Yep, somebody asks my opinion on something and upon knowing that my opinion ain't the same roof as he is, he started bullshiting me.

I can act like this all year long, but by doing this, I will lose a sense of myself.... teachers acting cold, bugging others (Pre-Emptive) and acting thrifty....will have a deep impact on my inner self..... I understand that sometimes they didn't mean what they talk or act, but please, oh just please think of the effect of your action upon others.....not because of a silly act/words, a friendship will rended down.

Let's be a passive looker now....for I'm too battered to raise arm right now. Pressure from academic fucks, friends, surroundings, thoughts bogs me down. I'm not stressful, I'm just a man with few words. Being peace with oneself is way better than nosing around other's businesses without a sense of self. I learn life through philosophy, experiances, faith, intuition....name it, and from it I learn not to be a pessimist. The skies might look clear, but heed too the possible hurricanes.

For those who never endure real pain, don't get too excited. Who knows with a single flip, you will get broken up that possibly lead to suicide. Me? No, it's a distant thought which only lingers in my darkest corner of mind. Life just too precious to be wasted away.

Being too stoic? Nah, hurt my inner self too much. I'll stick to sarcasm more onwards.

It's a sad world I know....any 'positive' trait can ironically being the 'negative' trait of yours, if used without sense or judgement. Long ago I wish I can be 'wise' and when it come slowly, so does with my view upon the world....escalating more and more towards the cynical part. (Maybe my mind, if given voice will never stop ranting, especially during my 'golden hours' of introspecting, LOL) Procrastination, education, good grades....my, it all means different to me, probably out of the mind of my fellow buddies. 

And as being nice person....Going to press it, but NOT eliminating it....even if it means walking this realm alone, I will stop a while to tend those who injured....but that doesn't mean that I will stay. As experiance teaches me, it's hard to believe fully on people....but that doesn't mean people are sickbags....humans are dynamic, so does emotions....well, if some can finally see through my cloak and know the truth of myself....expect tears, and kleenex, LOADS OF THEM.

Ciao buds, will update once in a while.....

P/S: Learning philosophy and psychology is like....

"The lights are on, the computer’s running, but all the games and fun stuff are offline
Welcome to life, buddy.

"I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law."

Fek you Aristotle.

Hahaha, that's all, lol.

How in the world?

Browsing through a friend's blog just to stumbled upon this piece of crap....

Nasi Goreng?!? (Fried Rice) The production team really do some research eh?

Here's the link if you want to hear the pronunciation.



Parodied Korean War

Stumbled upon this piece of crap when browsing through the offenders' site Encyclopedia Dramatica website. This is true according to the historical chronology, but heck, they make a laughter out of the war itself....

Might cause uneasiness to some, so you've been warned.

By the way, the headache still resides in me.....a bit, I think.

Spontaneous Sickness!

What the heck? Spontaneous sickness?

Yep, you heard it mate. For what it started as vomiting, evolved into a full fling cold. Man, what a waste of money buying that tasty burgers the night before.... Is it because of the influenza pandemic? Hope not, though they're already two sick people in the house, me and mom. Stress? No way, it's just the 3rd day of the 2nd semester, so lets cite that out too.

Possible causes? Lack of sleep, so called sleep fuck deprivation. Yes, sleeping at two, waking up at six, attending the school for 9 hours, only to be followed by a 4 hours nap sleep. Looks like this unhealthy habit need to be rolled out too, for EVER! Living like a night creature totally screws the physiological/psychological aspect of a human being, as they're suited to enjoy life at daytime, not nighttime.

Symptoms including intense headaches (Argh, FTW), diluted iris (Emo...lol) weak joins and overall a lethargic/morbid feelings surrounding this already frail body....

At least hey! I've got a whole day to spend browsing the Internet, right? Seriously, DO. NOT. WANT. You've been given two days out, and you still want to continue screwing your body, nope mate. Well, at least I've stumbled this good blog article about a feminist movement gone awry, and thus running amok forcing sites to stop selling a H game called Rapelay.


This 2-3 years old game (I've seen it in many H sites I'm browsing, but not my type raping pixels) gets on the eye of this feminist movement
called "Equality Now" and heck, make a chain reaction by banning each of the H games catching into their line of sight. I'm slightly into feminism causes, but some of their Nazi style "Leaders" went to such extent, trying to put themselves onto the Amazonians/Lesbos fantasy tribes. Why should this be happening at all? We guys gave you this freedom, and you started enforcing "lol" laws that prohibits man from having sex with his partner/spouses...

Then, what's the purpose of giving this right of speech to them? They should work together with men in a more profound/useful issues, contributing to the social/industrial advances rather than bickering on some useless shits. (Too subjective and you'll end up with a retarded person. Doesn't mean that by playing Ninja Gaiden or GTA 4 will make you a sadist fucks, or say a porn game turning you into a fucking maniac, though the age of consent should be taken into considerations....)

But banning them? Hell. This may backfire to them as many people might find this downright irritating and started to injure innocent women, or worst raping them. In muslim world, masturbating is considered as a sin, but judging the fact that incest/adultery is by far the gravest of sin, "lol" ling to pixel stuffs or just reading a book/praying/doing outdoor activities would be better than screwing somebody.

(Above statement is fairly subjective, but I'm trying to be as objective as I am, because women DO need their equalities, but abusing them? FTW man)

Well, back to tending my sicken body then...... Need every portion of energy dood, to recuperate from this malady.....

Hopefully this is not that specific starin of influenze, what's the name? Oh yeah, H1N1. As a doctor wannabe I also wanted to survive, not die treating others, as I can still "Fight another day" rather than "Today we will dine in hell" LOL.

Guys, hope you all will take care of your health.... It is better to prevent the illness rather than killing them, as you might already 'screwed' and calculating your final days.....

Mellowdy for Mellowdays.....

Yep folks, its been a while....for the past few days, life offered nothing new in my dictionary, 'cept a couple of same repetitive/ mundane routinely activities and some short dramas. (I'm in bad mood today, lack of events make my active mind revolt and launch a hunger strike....) But anyways I still managed to write a short poem (Quite random, with a mellow music) so hopefully you enjoy it. Here's the link to the song, titled Garden of Memories www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/130390

We may parted ways….

But our memories together will always stay with me…

Although rather short, I hope it can change your view,

On this less forgiving world.

At first, I think our relationship can be eternal,

Alas, our caste system separates both of us,

From reaping our fruits of love together.



You always said to me,

“Please don’t leave me alone,” in cold, solemn day,

And I stood beside you, facing the hailstones together,

Bearing with me, the hope to see you smile….

Which is enough to make me happy again.



Then, is this the way you reply it to me?

With the tip of your rapier at my throat?

Sacrificing all the trust to you that I invested on so much?

So, this is why people said that love is blind,

Which I rarely played upon, but still, feel the sting at the end….



Now, let me be alone again in my journey in this world,

Without you, nor anyone to support me on my journey….

Leaving with me nothing, except sad and sorrowful memories…

Of the past….



But please, I just hope one thing from you….

To remember me always, wherever you are…



How was it? Good? Light? Irritated? Well I'm irritated too, with the broken air cond, and a brutally offensive indifference seems like a calling for me to bang my head to the wall and possibly break some cranium.

Vanity Fair!

Hello guys, its me again...

Managed to get my scanner working again on my 2nd computer. Vista sucks at compatibility, but hey at least they make that 2 extra GB of RAM working, hehehe. I've scanned a couple of drawings drawn by my best friend last year. (Posted here just for archival/memory sake) 

First one!

Auuuw, penguins.....who doesn't like hugging those cute little cretins! aquatic creature..... It's actually Aegina who hugged me the penguin called SANDPENGUIN, DAMNIT! Tucky.

2nd on the line!

This one's braver is Gulcasa. He traced this drawing from the official Yggdra Union artbook. But, it's not THAT BAD for a copied drawing. Me? I have a hand of steel mate, I can't even draw a SINGLE PERFECT CIRCLE freehand. Sweet, very detailed and I'm angry happy to have such a creative, artsy friend!

Aaaah, good 'ol witch Cierra from Riviera.....her prowess in manipulating fire magic will make you nosebleed. Acting as a big sister in the group, I've find that her motherly ladylike manner appeasing.

Here's the link to his Crunchyroll account. Unfortunately it seems that he already abandoned his profile there.....pssst, he's a shy type person so don't mind posting a favor to him about something....what a waste, the general education system here are unable to tap into his special ability/abundant creativity stash. Don't worry Dan, I'm sure after we've finished this last two years in freaking purgatory/hell high school, you'll be able to achieve your ambition as an artist.

Makes me want to give him a ticket to Japan and school/work there.... :-/

Okay, moving on from that.......now, it's VANITY TIME!!!!

Here's my 1st computer desktop screenshot. It's in XP, and didin't have a lot of powerjuice compared to the 2nd one...

The background? Well, that's taken from a cruise ship crusing the Nile on our last year vacation to Egypt.

Hahaha, the 2nd computer I'm referring to and I'm using Earthview software. I like the "Global Awareness" aura that surrounds the background.

Last but not least, before I end my wangsting post tonight, a short, early view on Knights In The Nightmare, abbrev. KiTN. The game has a steep learning curve line, so expect profanities if you're going to play this game in fap hard mode for the first time.

"People are expected to seek light, but only ended up finding monsters again and again. What reason does this man have to fight?"
-One word, mindscrew.
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MindScrew TvTropes teaches me how to WikiWalk myself and gain crap knowledge out of it.

Resembling Yggdra Union? Nope, only THE. ARTWORK RESEMBLES ONE. Gameplay? You are under control of a wisp which will give items/equipments/orders to "Knights" which will do the dirty job for you.

That's all for today, I think....Good night!

Edited: I think I wanted to add a thing or two about Iran, but oh well, this topic is too mellow to have something THAT serious....
-"Often a Silly Reason For War."

A war to end all wars (Which might kill a shitload of civilians) or a short, periodic surgical war. (Might take a longer time to accomplish, burden to the annual budget and possible war attrition)

Either way, wars ARE STUPID.

Sacred dadadidoo~~~

Ahoy! It's fanfiction sickness again matey! And this one comes straight from me brain, inspired by that famous bard Blind Guardian with their song Sacred....though it's only a draft...

Chapter Undefined-Sacred

Section A-Painful truth

         "Oh god..." He now stands on top of Hill Zargon, the hill overlooking the Arc Of Triumph, which is now in smoldering ruins. "By Marietta, who or what can done such a great damage to such sturdy gate?" His soldier yapped behind him. "Is this happened due to the ankhs? If so, how come this be possible?" But his mind comes to a halt when he looked at its surrounding, the Royal Army battered supply trains....and a sudden cannon blow coming from the capital. "Shit, they're already in the capital, the Royal Army survived!" His soldier continues. "Sir, we're on the verge of winning this war! Hey lads, we're no longer the poor bastards of....uh, General?"

     He charged up his already weakened horse, leaving behind his men, without a word or an order. The men stayed silent for a while, but sensing the face of their shocked leader, it's a no doubt for them that he is experiencing a mind convulsion right now. Slowly one by one, the small tattered army charged nonetheless into the mouth of the capital itself....

    A large crater is only which is left of the great gate, leaving the capital exposed....charred dead bodies scattered everywhere, be it Royals, the Imperials and innocent citizens, all caught up by the grip of the Death himself.... "It's a painful feeling how this war can develops to,"  Everything on the radius of the crater is vapourized, leaving only a putrid smell of sulphur with splintering wood debris strewn about.... And Ron stopped a while, on noticing a familiar figure crying on his brink of sanity, which is Milanor....

    "Kylier *sobbing hard* why...." His hands were deep covered in Griffon feathers, a black reminder to what happened to Kylier with her squadrons of loyal friends.... "A morbid procession.....how could this happen Milanor?" Ron dismounted from his horse. "Sacrifices....now I know why Kylier hated war..." Milanor's murmured. Ron's knights arrived, much of them aghast of what is lying in front of their eyes. "Where is Yggdra?" Ron piped in another question to the distressed Milanor. "They survived.....at the cost of the Undines.....Nietzsche died protecting your......sister," A sudden shock rises through his spine. "The whole Undine.......dissipated into thi....thin air?" He turned his attention to his left, where his sister Joanne, loses herself in her trance, with the burned remains of Nietzsche at her lap......

    "You men....you're free to go without me, aid your fellow friends at the castle...." His numb voice barely heard by his men and without a word, the enerverted knights galloped through into the direction of the castle....  With shaky hand, he clapped on her shoulder. "Anne...it's...it's me," "Brother....I cannot stand it anymore....the ghastly face of her when she was consumed by the fire......is undescribable by mere words....and yet her body protected me from the searing heat...." Tears raining down her solemn face, leaving a deep and profound mark on any mortal. "Brother.....I'll be damned for being alive to watch this....this product of hatred!" "Anne, calm down...calm...." "How can I calm myself down! Parents dead, war and suffering, and now....my best friends, all dead in a couple of seconds to mere ashes...."

     With weakened hands, she laid her remains into the shallow grave she just dugged.... "Brother, I'm fine," She wiped her wet cheek with her blazen arm.... "Even the sand around crystallized into glass...." "Aegina....you should save....her *sob* before all comes to an end...." 

On the other side.....

      "Lucianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!" A sharp axe slashes right through her torso. "Argggh, noo!!!" Blood rushes out from her wound. Her plate armor somehow protected her from the fatal blow itself.... "I can still.....fight," She dropped the rapier on hand, and falls asunder. Aegina came rushed to her, despite the flagging, losing battle they're fighting with. "The revolution's failed....Gina. Our lives are coming to an end...." "Never say that Ana, I won't leave you alone!" Aegina dragged her injured sister into her platoon, but Luciana insisted. "Retreat Gina....may we meet again....in the afterlife," With that final word, Aegina hesitantly dropped her immobilized twin and retreated back into the castle.

      Resting herself below a tree, she looked forward to see her final moment in life would be. Royal army soldiers pouring in into her depleted platoon, her valkyries one by one succumbed to the deathly graves or surrendered themselves to the encrouching troops, all while tending her wound.... "Is...is this my intestines? Aaahhh!" She strucked out a piece of shattered plate out from her skin. Royal Army soldiers watched her on demise, arms at hand. She looked directly into those dreary eyes of the soldiers, knowing full well about the situation she is into at hand right now. "Am I going to surrender too? Will they beat the hell out from my already helpless body? Or will they be sympathetic enough to land a final blow on my near exposed guts....forgive me father, may the fires of hell beseech me for eternity..."

      But, even though she lies deep in the continuous procession of troops that passes her by, no one ever dared to do final blow. The soldiers all knew well about her, who is she and her importance but somehow, something binds them from coming hurting her. Some just passes by, some even stopped a while, leered at her, and continued their charge. Then, just as soon as her final dream drifted herself out from her misery....

    "Are you okay? Ma'am?" A Royal army knight stopped besides her. "From wh...what order did you come....from?" She muttered slowly, "Kill me....end my suffering...." "The 4rd order..." "Oh....Rodney...." She lost consciousness. He pulled her up, and carried her away to a nearby house on the side of the district already controlled by the 4th Doppelganger, Ron's detachment....

To Be Continued....

The part where the song started is not yet written on this portion of text. And a very long time of neglect on my vocabulary makes it a bit dribbling and somewhat rusty (Too rusty, edited) Perhaps....

I can put more ideas into the part where Ron's army (They were late because Ron stubborness in treating the injured loli Emilia, the real deal is to persuade Gulcasa to surrender by using her as tool. Too much pressure on your duty as a field physician and a general eh? An almost contradictory role taken by a soldier.....

I want to make many of teh original characters survived, but seeing how that is impossible on some storyline, I think I just have to be cruel sometimes, after all I've changed into a more cynical person from my idealized personality a couple months ago....

So sad how a war can rupture a family tie....severe a strong friendship, and shatters a romantic bond between two humans..... this rises into an old saying by an unknown soldier....

"I'd rather fight and die alone rather than to fight alongside my close school buddy or workmate...."

Think such a thing impossible? Well until you see the real life Pals Brigade....which suffered heavy casualties in just minutes of the opening battle of Somme.


Funny? Not, seriously. This is a true Tear Jerker.